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Gay stories > Category :
Fiction > The Good Doctor 2
By rahil ayaan,
0 Reviews Post your review
I pushed open the door from the garage to the house and was greeted by Jason
holding up his arms wanting to be picked up. I swung him up and then held him
close to me while I blew raspberries against his neck. He screamed and twisted
to get away.
"Daaaaadddyy!!!!!!!!"
My mom was standing ten feet away at the door to the kitchen watching us. Three
days a week she picked Jason up at daycare and brought him home and then stayed
with him until I got home. I suppose that I could have hired someone to stay
with him but it just didn"t seem right. For one thing my mom is of Italian
extraction and family is a very big deal to her. The other two days I leave work
early and I pick him up at daycare and then work from home for a few hours. I
could work from home every day but I really feel that daycare helps him. He has
friends there and it helps him to develop social skills. If my mom had her way
she would have built a fifty-foot wall around her family and never let anyone in
or out. Well, that"s maybe not entirely true.
"Eric, don"t hurt him! Careful he doesn"t fall!" My dad"s English and Irish and
he thought Eric sounded strong. Like Erik the Red I guess. I don"t think that he
ever figured on pink.
"Mom, he"s not gonna fall! You"re not gonna fall are you, kiddo?" My eyes are
dark brown and Janet"s were blue but Jason"s are a kinda dark green that can
sometimes appear brown and sometimes very, very bright green depending on what"s
happening inside of his beautiful little head.
I carry Jason into the family room and sit him down in front of the television
where he had obviously been just before I came home.
Just as I was letting him go he looked up at me and I kissed his forehead. "Love
you kiddo." He hangs onto my neck and kinda buries his face in it for a second
and then giggles like we"re sharing some big secret and then lets me go. He
flashes his eyes and makes a goofy face.
Back in the kitchen my mom is finishing a few dishes. "So," she smiles a little
too smugly, "who you got coming for dinner?"
"Just a neighbor." Interrogation time. I still have my raincoat on but I hit
play on the little kitchen stereo and almost instantly the kitchen is filled
with Ella Fitzgerald singing to a wicked samba beat. I flip the music up loud.
I grab my mother and start to samba her around the kitchen.
"Eric!!! Oh my goodness!! Now stop!! Stop!" Even while she"s fighting it she
automatically responds to the beat.
"I thought that you liked to dance." I"m still holding her in my arms.
"You just don"t want to talk to me is all."
"Just dance, Mom." I move her to the music again until we"ve danced into the
family room where Jason is standing watching us like we"re nuts. "Mom, teach
Jason how to dance." He"s hopping around like a puppy dog. She distracted by
Jason and I slip away and take off my raincoat and hang it up in the closet off
of the foyer.
No sooner than I get my tie off and she"s got me again. "I heard that young
doctor from down the street is coming over."
"Mom, don"t you have to fix dinner for Dad?" I look at my watch. "He"s gonna be
worried."
"All he"s gotta do is warm it up." She"s relentless.
"So, Mom, you had coffee with Eleanor?" She opens her mouth like she wants to
say something and then shuts it again but only for a moment.
"She"s a wonderful person! You know her husband was a General."
"I know, Mom and I like her too. So was Jason a good boy?" I know that it"s
futile to try and change the subject but against all logic I keep trying.
She points her index finger at me. "This doctor would be a good catch."
"He"s not a fish, Mom." I give in and sag against the kitchen counter. She"s won
she always wins.
Her hands are on her hips, ready to take on the world. "So, what are you gonna
fix him for dinner?"
"Pot roast, potato"s, a vegetable, a salad, maybe some wine." No fucking maybe
about the wine.
She thinks about it, turning over the culinary possibilities. "That"s not bad.
I"ll do it, you go get cleaned up."
"Mom, I was gonna do it. I was gonna cook it in the pressure cooker." She
dismisses this pathetic notion with a wave of her hand.
"Go! Get cleaned up!"
I take a very hot shower and lean against the cool white tile wall thinking
about Pete. Thinking about those blue eyes and the quiet confident sound of his
voice. I decided that one of the differences between Pete and me is that he"s an
adult and I"m still a little boy.
I dry myself off and put on some clean boxers and then stick my head out of the
bedroom door.
I call to my son. "Jase! Jason! Comere son."
Jason comes running, well skipping actually down the hallway. Maybe, well
hopefully, there won"t be any way to spend time with him later on and I like
talking to him. It"s important to me that I know what"s going on in his life.
I"m moving slowly around the bedroom, brushing my hair, picking out clothes and
talking to Jason.
"You have a good day, Buddy?"
I get a fifteen-minute monologue on how a five year old spends his day. I"m
enthralled. He always enthralls me. My marriage was far from perfect and though
I loved Janet, at least I think I loved her, we fought a lot and I suspect that
at some point she even began to realize that I was gay but somehow we created
this perfect little person. Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!
As far a Jase is concerned I can do no wrong. Geez, how fucking heavy is that?
To Jase I"m like......fucking perfect.
"Dad, you need to shave." I"m holding him in one arm while I"m kinda brushing my
hair with the other hand. I always need to shave.
Still holding Jason I go and get the electric shaver and do a one-handed shave.
Then I smile and hand it to him. "Do the other side, will ya?" He"s giggling and
I"m laughing while he takes the razor in both hands and does a five year olds
version of it. He laughs and I laugh. He looks so much better than he did a few
days ago. Little kids bounce back so quickly. He feels warm and dry and smells
like he"s just had a bath, which he probably did. My mom believes in nothing if
not in being clean. The vibration and buzzing sound are strange to him and
finally I have to set him down on the bed while I quickly finish the job.
Ella is still buzzing in my head. "The Jazz Samba, The Jazz Samba, how it gets
to you, The Jazz Samba, The Jazz Samba ooouuuuuuuu." I dance to the music in my
head and Jase goes hysterical with laughter finally collapsing on the bed. I"ll
do anything to entertain the kid.
-------------------
I gotta get her outta here. "Mom! Dad"s probably eating cold meatloaf out of the
refrigerator with his fingers." She looks for a moment like this could somehow
be a possibility, which it couldn"t if you knew my Dad.
It"s twenty after six and the last thing that I want Pete to see is my mother
cooking our dinner. "Mother." She can"t ignore that. "Go take care of your
husband. Please, Mom!" I have her jacket in my hand.
"Okay, okay, I"ll go. Now remember to take this out about a quarter to seven and
Jason has eaten but if he wants a little bite it looks like it"s gonna be really
good."
"No, Mom! We got our rules! The kid gets to eat once a week and that"s it!" She
looks at me for a moment like I might be telling the truth. Deep down she knows
that I"m not capable of raising a child, that I"m just a child myself.
She waves off the remark with her hand. Erased! Gone forever! Her idiot son
couldn"t possibly have said that.
She"s almost out the door. "Call your father about the business." I start to
speak but she holds up her hand. "I know the business is fine but he just likes
to talk about it." I gotta spend more time with my Dad. He misses me; even with
all the crap he misses me.
She puts a hand on my chin and looks up at me, into my eyes and speaks softly.
"You"re so handsome. Like your grandfather was when he was young." She"s gotta
say stuff like that, she"s my Mom.
I set the table for two, if Jase wants some he can nibble off of my plate, this
is suppose to be an adult meal. I run into his room and grab Jason"s pajamas and
change him while he"s watching television. His eyes never leave the set.
I go into the bathroom to take a piss and of course that"s when the doorbell
rings. I glance at my watch, it"s 7:05. Figures that I"d be standing with my
dick in my hand when he gets here. Jason screams that he"ll get the door. He
loves doing that. How hard would it be for some nutcase to grab him when he
answers the door? Good! Another fucking thing to worry about!
When I walk into the family room he"s got Pete sitting with him on the floor in
front of the TV. He"s holding Pete"s left hand with his right and pointing at a
guy on the tv with his left hand.
"See this guy, Dr. O"Connor. See him? He"s Superman! Well he"s really not
Superman yet cause he"s just young but someday he"ll be Superman." He looks at
Pete like he"s just tried explaining quantum physics to a five year old. Pete
shoots me a quick smile and a barely noticeable wink. "And that"s his girl
friend except that they fight a lot and right now she"s not his girl friend."
I kneel down behind Jason with my knees on either side of him. I pull him back
against me and kiss the top of his head. I"m proud of him; he"s smart and nice.
I look at Pete and he"s looking back at me and I see the warmth in his eyes, the
patient goodness. Somehow it"s all there like it was written in bold print.
Please God, don"t let me fuck this up.
I slide my hand down the side of Jason"s face. I marvel at the softness of his
skin and then gently tilt his head up. "You wanna try you Grandmothers pot
roast?"
He shakes his head no. "I wanna watch my show, Dad."
I touch Pete"s arm and nod towards the kitchen. We get up quietly and walk into
the kitchen. As soon as we"re where Jason can"t see us Pete grabs my arm and
gently pulls me to him. We meet in a kiss. I didn"t expect it but I like it and
I kiss back. He smells of soap and fresh clothing. Guess that this solves the
gay question.
I smile at him. "And you haven"t even tried the pot roast yet." Those eyes are
soooo blue.
He touches my face with the back of his fingers. "You"re a good dad." His hair
color seems to change with the light. In the family room it seemed almost brown
but under the brighter lights of the kitchen it seems very blonde.
I kiss him again. No sense in passing up this opportunity. "He makes it easy.
For some reason the kid likes me." Not some huge tongue battle just a simple
kiss.
He looks a little concerned. "I didn"t mean to push you. I mean with the kiss. I
kinda blindsided you. It"s just that seeing you with your son.....it made me
feel good."
I smile at him. "I could get him in here."
He smiles. "I don"t think it"ll be necessary." He puts his hand behind my neck
and pulls me to a kiss again. "We seem to be getting on okay."
"We gotta make gravy."
He smiles. "If that"s a euphemism for sex, I really think we should get to know
each other a little better."
"No, I really do mean......" Idiot! He"s kidding!
He takes my hand and pulls me over to the stove. "Let"s see what we got here." I
love a take-charge kinda guy. "We"re gonna need a platter for the meat and then
some flour and butter or corn starch."
He takes the cover off of the cast iron cooker that my mother uses and then
starts looking around for tools. I hand him a couple of spatulas to lift out the
pot roast and I hold the platter while he does it. I give him some flour and a
stick of butter and he puts some of the flour in a small bowl and mashes the
butter into the flour and then takes part of that mess and stirs it into the
juices still in the cooker. It"s like a fucking miracle, gravy before our very
eyes.
While he"s doing that I open the wine. This I know how to do. "Pete you want
wine?"
"Sure do!" He flashes a bright smile.
Within ten minutes we"re sitting down to a real dinner. It"s not that we don"t
normally eat regular food but with my mother, well, she"s like a food machine.
She could feed the whole freakin neighborhood and not even notice. Her
refrigerator and freezers, yes freezers plural, are loaded. The woman cooks
constantly. My dad is one of those people who can eat as much as they want and
never gains weight and I think that it"s freaked mom out. Like we"re genetically
programmed for something to happen when something else happens, well mom is
genetically programmed to stop cooking when dad gets heavy and since he never
does she just keeps cooking. Anyway Jase and I are the beneficiaries of all this
food production. I wanted to cook dinner tonight for Pete just because I wanted
to do something just for him but I could just as easily have pulled a gourmet
Italian dinner outta my freezer cause it just keeps coming. And to make things
worse, well at least for mom, neither Jase or I ever seem to gain weight. She
keeps talking about how Jase looks like he never gets a good meal but he really
looks just like I did at his age and for Christ sake the only place the kid
might eat better is the Italian embassy in Washington.
Pete"s eyes widen as he eats. "This is fantastic!"
"Mom likes to cook." Like fucking Monet liked to paint!
"What"d she do to this broccoli, it"s unbelievable."
"I think that she steams it and then sautAc"s it in butter and garlic. Something
like that." We"re both chewing and grinning at each other. "It makes me nervous
to watch her. I always get the feeling that I"m in the kitchen of a restaurant
and that I took a wrong turn and should really be sitting out front."
"Garlic?"
I nod at him. "S"okay we"re both eating it." He was thinking about kissing
wasn"t he? He looks like he got really strong jaw muscles. That"s probably a
good thing considering mom.
A half an hour later we"re sitting in the living room drinking decaffeinated
coffee and eating cake that mom must have smuggled in. I feed Jason a bite of
cake and he buries his face in my stomach.
"Do I have to go to bed, Dad?"
Why do I think he wants me to say yes? "I think maybe you better. You"re
yawning."
"Ooookay." He scampers up on the sofa and kisses Pete on the cheek. "Good night
Dr. O"Connor." He jumps down and then grabs my hand. "Will you tuck me in,
Daddy?" I"m only Daddy when he"s going to bed or when he"s done something wrong.
He"s pulling me towards his bedroom. I look back at Pete. "Be right back, Pete."
Jase and I walk to his bedroom holding hands, he"s wearing dark blue dinosaur
pajamas. He lets me lift him into bed and pull the covers up. "Noses, Dad!"
We rub noses, just like the Eskimos used to do or at least what we think that
they used to do. He reaches out and touches the tip of my nose. "Dad, you know
what? You can"t stay up late. You gotta go to work tomorrow."
"I promise, Jase." I kiss him on his cheek and he giggles and then I turn out
the light, give his hand a squeeze and walk quietly back to Pete.
I"m overcome with the emotion my son brings out in me. Sometimes it just hits
me! Sometimes the magnitude of what he means to me just bowls me over. Nothing
prepares you for being a dad! It"s impossible to know beforehand the changes
that a kid is going to make in your life. He becomes your life at least in some
ways.
Pete and I are sitting on the floor leaning back against the sofa, we"re sipping
decaf coffee. He looks over at me and says. "You okay?"
I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands and then smile. "Yeah I"m good.
Sometimes it just........kinda the totality of how I feel about Jason." I drop
my head back against the sofa and then turn it towards Pete. "Doesn"t help being
Italian, we"re kinda emotional from the get go."
Pete is smiling at me, probably because he thinks that I"m some sort of fucking
weirdo and he"s trying to figure out how fast he can get outta here without
setting me off.
He turns towards me and then reaches out slowly and holds the side of my head
with his right hand. Leaning forward he kisses me gently, still no tongues but a
lotta heat. Of course it takes two tongues to tango and I haven"t tried slipping
him mine either.
He"s so muscular. It doesn"t show up much under a lab coat but the couple of
times that he"s held me and kissed me I"ve been aware of just how powerful his
body is. Lotsa workout time involved there.
He turns back around so that he"s sitting and leaning against the sofa normally
but somehow he"s come into possession of my right hand and it rests in his left.
His hand is warm and dry and feels pretty good, so I don"t mention it and
neither does he. It"s just there.
"Weren"t you working with your dad? Wasn"t he about to retire?" His thumb is
gently rubbing the top of my thumb.
"Yeah, he did. It still seems weird, Cortland Industrial Supply. When I was a
little kid I used to help clean up the office and then when I was in high school
I worked in the warehouse but I never thought that it"d be mine, that I"d
actually be in charge. Mom told me tonight that she wants me to call him and
talk about the business, that he misses talking about it."
Pete squeezed my hand and pressed it to his leg. "It"s really important for
older people to feel that they"re still involved. In effect, that you still need
them. I see it all the time in my practice. Well anyway, my point is that you
really should talk to him. It means so much to them, way more than you can
imagine. Just a few moments of your time can be really huge to them and actually
have a very positive effect on his health." Then he gives me a goofy "sorry I
was acting like a doctor," smile.
"When Jason"s mother died," Why the fuck did I put it like that? Where did those
words come from? "I told my mom and dad that I was gay. They pretty much freaked
at first. Well, mom freaked, dad just kinda got quiet. He does that. That"s
kinda what he does when things get like, personal. Mom is nothing but personal.
You don"t ever have to guess at what she"s thinking but my dad doesn"t like to
talk about that stuff. We never did talk about the whole gay thing, I mean my
dad and me. He just pretends that it"s not happening and so I just never say
anything either. Like it doesn"t exist."
I roll my head towards him and look into those blue eyes staring back at me.
"Jason fills the gap with my dad. Like he figures he"s got another chance at
someone being normal or what he wants normal to be."
Pete pulls my arm up and holds my hand to his chest. "What about your mom.
Apparently she got over it."
"She went totally loco for a couple of weeks but in the end, after I got a
chance to talk to her and have her listen, she came around. I told her that it
wasn"t like something that I planned and it wasn"t something that was going
away. Mom is a realist. A real here and now kinda person."
"Does...........Jason know? I mean does he have any understanding of the shift
in things?"
"Maybe. I mean that he seems sometimes to kinda get it. Little kids are pretty
sharp and he seems to be aware of the fact that I don"t show any interest in
women but I"m not sure that he"s able to take it further than that."
I sat up and took Pete"s hand. "Let"s go into the kitchen, this is killing my
back." We got up and I was at last able to stretch. As we walked into the
kitchen I suddenly felt Pete"s hands on my shoulders, kneading them.
"Oh fuck that feels good!" After I said it it dawned on me that I might like to
rearrange those words. No, not yet. I don"t really know who he is, gotta know
that first.
"You have a problem with your back?" Damn he"s got strong hands.
"Just that position. Always nails me." Great, he"s gonna think that I"m talking
about sex!
"Your shoulders are all tight." I won"t even go there.
"Want some Tiramisu? I"ve got lots." When in doubt, eat! Tiramisu is mom"s idea
of a tactical nuclear weapon, not really the big one, just something she lobs in
from time to time.
Pete put his mouth right at my ear, his hands were still massaging. "I don"t
make you nervous do I?" His voice was quiet and throaty. My cock likes quiet and
throaty and began responding as expected until I had a good talk with it about
restraint and the need to get to know your sex partners. "Cause I don"t wanna
make you nervous, horny maybe but not nervous."
I turned in his arms faced him and smiled. "Yeah, like I need more horny!" I
lead him gently by the arm to a kitchen chair. I took the one opposite.
"I seem to remember that your dad is a doctor. Tell me about him. Do you like
him?"
Pete smiled, a contented smile like he was remembering something nice. "My dad"s
a cardiologist, the best. My mom is a psychologist." He shut up and smiled at
me. Those blue eyes have dark edges to the iris that gives them a penetrating
quality. There is some light brown hair sticking up above the top button of his
pale blue shirt.
"It sounds like you do like him." I bet that the hair on his chest is really,
really soft.
Pete ducked his head and his blond hair spilled over his forehead a bit. "Yeah,
I do. It seems strange to say it because I guess we never, ever, talk about it,
but yeah I do."
"Do they know that you"re gay?" Nosy little fucker aren"t I?
Pete opened his mouth and then closed it like he wanted to think a bit more
before he spoke. "Yep, they do. So does Dr. Malvec. I told him when I
interviewed for the job." Geez that takes guts!
"I guess that I can assume that it didn"t bother him."
Pete looked quickly around the kitchen almost like he was looking to escape.
Then he dropped his head his voice was barely a whisper. "I fell in love with
you." He glanced up at me and gave me a funny little smile. "I doesn"t make any
sense and I"ve tried to talk myself out of it for a couple of months now but I
fell in love with you when we met at that block party." He was staring down at
his empty plate and running his finger around the edge.
"How?" My mouth had gone suddenly dry and I could feel my heart pounding. "How
could that happen? You....you didn"t say anything." I raised my hand to my
forehead more than a bit stunned. "I remember you talking about your house and
the neighborhood and stuff like that but you never said anything about love. I
woulda remembered."
Pete looked like he was headed into full panic mode. "I better go. I gotta stop
at the hospital tomorrow morning and see a couple of patients." He started to
stand up.
"Go? Go? You can"t tell me something like that and then just go!" That"s the
Nora Desmond in me coming out.
He came around the table and bent down and kissed me. "I"m not running. Well, I
am but I have to. I really do need to see those patients......and you need time
to think." He touched the back of my hand with his fingertips. "There was no
perfect time to tell you." He sighed deeply and smiled at me. "I"m usually
smoother than this, really. It"s just that you kinda short circuit my brain."
I"ve only had gay sex four times....honest. The first time was at the rest stop
out on the interstate. I blew a trucker a little bit and he blew me a lot. The
second time was also at the rest stop but that time it was a college kid and he
only wanted to get a blowjob. I did it badly but he shot in my mouth anyway. I
didn"t swallow it and thought that I was gonna puke. Funny what you can get used
to and even come to crave. The third time was some sort of businessman and we
just beat each other off in a stall. That was the first time that I kissed a guy
and it sizzled in my brain for months. The fourth time was another trucker and
we had sex in the sleeper part of his eighteen-wheeler. That was fantastic sex
with loads of slow passionate kissing and a mind-blowing orgasm with his finger
up my butt. I can still feel that finger.
I"m a relationship kinda guy, a half of a whole. Janet and I went together for a
couple of years before we lived together and then got married. Don"t think that
mom didn"t put her two cents worth in on that. It was wonderful. It was
horrible. It was cut short. I can"t think about that! Jason is the result,
that"s what counts. The little boy that wakes me up at six o"clock in the
morning to help him put together a puzzle that he"s spread out all over my bed
while I"ve slept.
"I can"t help, Jason! My eyes won"t open!"
"Whadya mean, Dad?"
"See my eyes? There closed! They won"t open!"
"Ya gotta open em, Dad!"
"How do ya open em?"
"Huh?"
"How do I open my eyes?"
Growing frustration. "Dad, you gotta open em from inside!"
"But how do I DO that?"
"You just gotta push em open, Dad!" He finally pries them open. "See! Like
that!"
See? I"m just a kid myself.
Jase and I are cooking breakfast in our underwear, boxers for me and blue briefs
for him.
Between the two of us we can just manage scrambled eggs and toast. Jase does the
toast cause it"s safer than the stove. Actually he just puts the bread in the
toaster and pushes the knob down. I take it out and butter it and in Jase"s case
put jelly on it and cut it into triangles.
So far I"ve used my Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator accent on him and a little
Doctor Strangelove. He keeps coming back for more and pretty soon we"re both
doing it. Jase is strutting around with his chest all puffed up and his arms
out.
This is, of course the exact moment my mom makes her unannounced appearance. Why
did I give this woman a key?
"You"re not DRESSED!" She literally throws up her hands. "You"re both gonna be
late!" Hands on hips.
Jase, being the smarter of us takes off running for his bedroom. I, being the
idiot, hang around.
"Mom! You know that if I get a boyfriend you can"t be making these unannounced
appearances. We"re gonna need notice. Maybe an email." I bite back the remark
about flying monkeys, after all, I do love her and she means well.
"Baaah! You and your email!" But the boyfriend remark is beginning to sink in
and while she"s doing the dishes. "You and Doctor O"Connor got along okay?" I
get this feeling that Eleanor"s got it all on tape.
"Mom, I gotta get dressed. I"m a grown man and you"re not supposed to be seeing
me in my underwear." I turn for the bedroom but suppress a desire to sprint.
"Baah!" The hand waves again. "I seen you in less than that!" I may never get an
erection again.
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