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I checked through the cupboards and drawers, making sure I had left nothing behind, I turned to take one last look out the window, the usual group were sitting outside in their usual spot, under a tree, discussing the future and the possibility of a normal life. It was strange, this is the first time I had actually listened to them, they sat outside my room everyday, the same discussion, everyday. And for the first time I was actually listening to them, I kept hearing the same phrase, repeated time and time again, leave your past behind. I wondered whether it was a coincidence or fate. Did I even believe in fate? One by one they got up of the ground and I watched them leave, making their way back to their rooms. I picked up my things and headed for the door, I hoped this would be the last time I had to be here, hoping, I would never return.

I made my way through the small halls, laughter and crying echoing through the halls, people patted me on the back and wished me well as I passed them. But I could tell they weren’t genuinely interested in me, just being polite I suppose, I was just another patient to them. Still I said thanks and walked on with my head held high, I finally reached the front door and the two doctors who had forced me through them a few weeks ago now opened them for me, allowing me to leave, they lowered their heads as I walked past. I took my first step outside and as my foot hit the stones below I felt free, like I had accomplished something, this had been like another stage in my life complete, I lowered my head and smiled as I made my way to the taxi, I threw my bags in the back before climbing into the front seat next to the driver. I smiled at him, hoping to show him I wasn’t mad despite the fact he was collecting me from a psychiatrist ward. Ironic huh? “Where to sir?” It was only when he asked me that, I realised I didn’t know the answer, I gave him the address to Olivia’s house, I wasn’t sure where else I could go.

I spent the rest of the journey listening to his small talk, only giving him half my attention, really I was more interested in looking out the window, seeing the ‘outside world’ again, I had missed the normal things while I was sectioned, people standing about talking, sitting down to a normal, homemade dinner, shops. It seems strange but people take things for granted, don’t know what they have until it’s gone. My heat raced faster as we reached the familiar sights and streets of my hometown. Finally we pulled up at Olivia’s house, I paid the less than interesting driver and practically sprinted to Olivia’s door hoping I wouldn’t have to face anyone I knew. She opened the door as I knocked and pulled me inside hugging me harder than ever before. “I thought it was you!” Olivia refused to let go and she pushed her head against my shoulder, her long hair tickled my face.

“Sorry about turning up out of the blue like this, I just didn’t know where to go” I rested my head against hers, enjoying the feeling of being held by familiar arms. “You could have gone home” She said, sounding like it was so easy, I hate to admit it but no matter what she said she made it sound like the right option, which was easy since she was usually right. “Home to the man who loves you”. Oh she just had to add that after her dramatic pause. Finally she let me go and lead me through to the living room, her parents were out which was probably for the best actually. “So, how was your vacation” She giggled, “Amazing, the journey wasn’t great there or back to be honest, and the staff, don’t even get me started” “Oh tell me about it, well life hasn’t been great here either”. I could tell this was her way of opening a can of worms and starting a difficult topic. “Weather was nice, but I know of one person in particular whose been a bit of a mess” “Olivia I don’t wanna hear this right now” I pleaded with her, I didn’t need to hear this, the decision on whether or not to stay was going to be hard enough without her input on how devastated Alex had been.

“Well you’re going to hear it anyway, that guy has been a mess, he looks like he hasn’t slept in years, he walks past here nearly everyday, hoping you might be here probably, he can’t look Kevin in the face after what happened that night. You have no idea how many guys have tried to ask him out Danny, and he just turns them away….for you” I struggled to look Olivia in the eye, eventually I gave up and lowered my head in defeat. “So what if I love him, I cant be with him after that, besides, I think I’ve had a better offer, my doctor asked me to go to France with him” When I said it out loud I realised how crazy it sounded, travelling abroad with my doctor! “Listen to yourself, you sound like a gold digger and he sounds like a cradle snatcher!” I had to laugh at Olivia, after that we changed the subject a little but she kept going back to Alex, this wasn’t going to be easy.

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ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

I jogged from my house and did some laps round a football pitch before turning back and heading home a different root that I had came, I took some different turns and ran through the street where Dan’s friend Olivia lived, I hoped when he came back he would come to me, but if he didn’t he would probably come here, so I walked or jogged down this street most days hoping to see him, I stopped outside to tie my laces, I took a quick scan through the windows but only seen Olivia, sitting on her own watching TV I think. I sighed and kept jogging until I got home, I got through the front door and immediately tore off my sweaty clothes leaving them lying on the stairs before heading upstairs to the shower, I turned the tap on full and the hot water came crashing down over my exhausted body. I shut the world out and closed my eyes.

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DANNY’S POINT OF VIEW

I walked back down the stairs after using Olivia’s toilet. “I’m not sure about this Olivia, I’m fucking terrified” I had gone upstairs to use her toilet before I left her house, she had finally talked me into going to see Alex. “Will you be ok here until I get back” I asked hopefully, looking for any reason not to go. “Yes, I’ll be fine, I’ve found a good movie to watch while you’re gone, couldn’t take my eyes of the screen while you were upstairs now go!” I hugged her before I left and told her to wish me luck. I walked quickly through the streets, it was a sunny afternoon and there was no breeze at all.

I stopped for a moment at Alex’s bushes and caught by breath, then continued walking but at a slightly slower pace, trying to buy some time to think of what I would say, I thought about what could happen and what I would wanted to happen, for once I wasn’t thinking of the worst that could happen, I guess my medication was working after all. “I still love you Alex” “Do you love me?” “Hey, Alex, how are you?” “Sorry to turn up like this but, I needed to see you”. As I practised what to say I grew more and more excited at the thought of seeing the first love of my life, the only love of my life. I had to talk to him, I had decided, I needed to at least try to make him take me back. I knocked the door and waited eagerly for an answer that didn’t come. I knocked again and still no response, no tanned beauty walking to the door, no blond bombshell, no blue eyed babe. No one. I peered through the door and tried to make out recognizable shapes, I couldn’t see much and then I looked at the bottom of the stairs, clothes. Shorts, a top, shoes…… and boxers. My heart seemed to stop beating, my guts in my mouth, tears rolling down my face, I ran away, I ran from his house, I ran from him.

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ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

I climbed out of the warm shower and felt cold. I headed to my room and threw on some comfortable sweats and a sleeveless top. I went downstairs and picked up my phone, I had a text from Olivia, Oh my God, was he home, was he here, I waited as my phone loaded the text, I couldn’t wait to find out what it said, my heart began to beat faster and uncontrollably. Finally it opened and self consciously I found myself reading it out loud……“Asshole, you’re a thing of the past now”. Wow, I had pissed her off, I was going to find out why. I pulled my shoes back on and headed out of the house, using my muscled legs to carry myself as fast as I could.

***********************************************************

DANNY’S POINT OF VIEW

I looked through my bags, looking for the small piece of paper Jack had given me when I first arrived at the ward, It had his number and address on it, then a little message at the bottom saying “Call in or call me at any time :)” Finally I found it, I began dialling the number, having changed my mind again, there was no way I could see him now, no way I could stay here, I had to leave now, I had to leave my past here, and start my future with Jack. Olivia said she supported me no matter what I decided, and made me promise to stay in touch, my tears dripped onto the small piece of paper. Then there was a loud knock at the door, followed by constant banging.

Olivia walked towards the door and opened it, A tall blonde man stood on the other side, panting heavily sounding like he had just ran a marathon, he had dazzling blue eyes, but they showed upset and fear. His small pink lips were wet and looked amazing as he talked. His long, luscious, locks of golden hair were folded back out of his face. He wore a sleeveless white top which had gone slightly transparent, showing he was wet, below this sweats covered his shaking legs. “What was that about” He entered the house, squeezing past Olivia and started his next sentence of protest before turning to look at me and being rendered speechless, his blue eyes widened and his mouth hung open. I looked back at him and we exchanged shocked glances until a firm right hand hooked his face and knocked him to the floor, Olivia stepped over his body and walked towards me before putting her arm around me.

Alex pulled himself to his feet, shaking his head and holding his face. Again he looked up at me in disbelief, mouth still hanging open. “Dan?” He hadn’t changed at all, still just as beautiful as the day I walked into him at school, as the first night we slept together, as the night he sacrificed his happiness so I could get the help I needed. “Make him go Olivia” I felt tears start to form behind my eyes again, this was becoming an all too familiar feeling. “No, please Olivia, let me talk to him”Olivia turned to look at me and for the first time she seemed lost, no clever words forming on her lips. I simply shook my head at her, she turned and gave Alex a look which said I’m sorry. “Please, tell me what the text was about, I’m not leaving here until someone explains. I clenched my fists and fought back the tears. “YOU, fucking leaving your clothes lying at the front door while you’re upstairs shagging some guy! Jesus, you just couldn’t wait to get rid of me could you, sending me off to a fucking mental institution the second you find out I’m mad” I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from saying anything I would regret, Alex bowed his head and for the first time I seen a tear fall from his eye.

He raised his head again and swallowed. “Dan, how could you think that, I was upstairs in the shower. I run past here everyday waiting to catch a glimpse of you someday”. Alex bowed his head again and started to shake. I stood feeling disgusted with myself and wishing I could just go somewhere and hide, I looked down and unclenched my fists, seeing the small piece of paper again, I shoved it into my pocket and walked towards Alex I put my arms around him and pulled his shaking body close to mine. He put his head on my shoulder and cried. For the first time, I was the one comforting him. “Listen Olivia I’m going to take him home.” Olivia seemed lost for words, “Ok, text me later” I kept my arm around him as we walked towards his house he cried the whole way until I finally set him down on his bed. For what seemed like hours, we lay in each others arms, just talking, we lay and watched the sunset, darkness gradually descended upon the room, I could see the glow of Alex’s eyes, he had finally stopped shaking and I could feel his chest move as he breathed in and out. I laid my hand on his smooth chest and felt his heart beat.

Slowly we removed each others clothes, I pulled his top over his head, kissing his forehead as I slid it off him, then he responded by pulling my shirt off, then running his hands over my exposed chest. I tugged gently at his sweats, pulling them down leaving his boxers covering his manhood.

He undid my button and pulled down my zip before carefully pulling off my trousers. We lay, in our boxers, holding each other. For the first time I felt happy again, lying in his arms, this moment was perfect, feeling the warmth coming of his body made me feel safe and reminded me off happy times, this is how it felt the night I had been kicked out, he held me like this, keeping me safe, never letting go. The sun was gone now and a full moon had taken its place. Millions of stars shone and reflected the moonlight over the garden outside, the moon shone through Alex’s window and lit the room slightly, allowing me to see Alex’s body clearly, his chest, his abs and the muscles on his arms. I felt a slight movement and then hot lips on mine, I had missed this the most. Alex wasted no time in reuniting his hot, wet lips with mine before reacquainting our tongues.

His tongue swirled around mine and danced in my mouth. Alex kissed me with more passion than ever before. He pulled away and took a deep breath before plunging pushing his lips against my neck. I lay breathing heavily, knowing what was coming. He kissed my chest and then my abdomen, he slowly removed my boxers, gently sliding them down my legs. Then he removed his own before starting to kiss my hole, he pushed his tongue inside me slightly, licking at the opening, he didn’t push his tongue deep inside me but still, it was enough, after waiting for this for so long, just the sight of his beautiful naked body would be enough to make me cum. I felt his lips make their way back up my body making every inch of me tremble with excitement, I felt the tip of his cock press against my ass before it was pushed inside me, I felt myself stretch to allow him to enter me, Alex kissed my neck making me pant heavily, finally I felt his balls touch my ass, he lay on top of me for a few seconds, just enjoying being inside me and allowing me to get used to him again, but he didn’t pull out like he normally did, instead he began to grind his hips against mine, causing his dick to rub against my prostate sending shockwaves through my entire body, he kept up with the same technique and just kept gently grinding against me until I came, I shot my load onto Alex’s stomach, after I came he stopped but kept his cock inside me he moved to lie beside me and held me in his strong arms, I felt his cock shrink inside me. Slowly I fell asleep, enjoying our last night together in this bed.

***************************************

ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

I wanted to satisfy Dan, he was all I cared about, I held him in my arms, sharing my warmth with him, making him feel protected while he fell asleep, once he did I closed my eyes and fell asleep with him. I woke to the sound of birds singing in the morning as the sun poured through my window. I rolled over to put my hand on Danny, only to find he wasn’t there. In his place there was a small piece of paper, he had torn the top of it, I read the note he had left me

“Alex, I’m so sorry to leave you like this, but I have to, I know what I have to do now, I have to leave my past behind. Im sorry, but, well that’s what you are now, my past. I love you so much and leaving you might kill me but it’s a risk I have to take. I’ll never forget the day we first spoke, and I’ll never forget you, goodbye Alex.”
Love Danny xxx

I stared at the piece of paper before turning it over to read what was on the back “Call in or call me anytime”. The handwriting wasn’t Dan’s, someone had given this to him. Without hesitation I got out of bed and got dressed wasting no time before setting of to find Dan. I didn’t know where to look, it was half ten in the morning and I had no idea what time he left my house at. I started running to Olivia’s house again the same way I had done less than twenty four hours ago before I was reunited with Dan. I knocked at the door, as I stood desperately awaiting a response I felt sick with fear, my heart felt like it could burst out of my chest at any moment. The door opened but I was not greeted with the site of my lover, an upset and crying Olivia was all I seen. She stood clutching a photo of her and Dan, he looked about eleven in the photo.

My eyes shifted from the young Dan in the photo to Olivia “Olivia?” I stared her in the eye, awaiting an explanation. “I’m sorry Alex, I didn’t know it would end lie this.” Olivia sobbed between words and barely managed to string a sentence together. “What do you mean end? How can this be over?” “He’s gone, Jack just picked him up” Olivia turned away from me and clutched the photo tighter to her chest before putting it down and putting her head in her hands. “Jack?” I felt a strange feeling, one I had never felt before, a mix of fear and resentment, whoever Jack was I hated him for taking Dan away from me. “Jack, he asked Dan to leave the country with him, he’s going tonight, half nine I think.” I turned and sprinted again, leaving Olivia shattered in the doorway calling after me.

I sprinted back towards my house. Racing through to the garage to get the keys to any of my parent’s cars, I picked the first set of keys I could and ran upstairs picking up some things I would need before I ran to the car, I shaking so hard I struggled to get the key in the ignition, I reversed out of the drive way before speeding back towards Olivia’s house. I pressed my foot on the accelerator without thinking. Within seconds I was back at Olivia’s house, her front door and she was sitting on the stairs still clutching the photo. I reached across the passenger seat signalling for Olivia to get in, without giving it a second thought she got up, closed the door and walked to the car. Before she even had the chance to close her car door we were moving again, trying to catch Dan.

****************************************************************

DANNY’S POINT OF VIEW

I sat resting my head on my hand with my elbow leaning against the car door. Jack drove pretty quickly. The flight was leaving earlier than planned, we would still make it on time but he wanted to arrive at the airport early. He was talking but I wasn’t listening. I couldn’t stop thinking about how peaceful he looked this morning, he’d be up by now, no longer peaceful and happy, he would be angry and confused, thanks to me. I turned to look at Jack, for a man in his mid thirties he wasn’t bad. His short brown hair blew slightly in the wind coming through his open window, his brown eyes were focussed on the road and his face was lined with happiness. I turned away from him again, no matter what I had decided I was going to hurt someone. The image of Alex’s face stayed in my mind. I wanted to be back with him, to hold him and talk to him, but it was too late now, I spent the rest of the journey wondering if I had made the right decision before Jack shook me by the arm, telling me to wake up. We were here, a large, grey building stood before me, the sound of planes boomed overhead. I watched as wives hugged their husbands goodbye, kids waving goodbye to their parents, friends heading off on holidays and families taking a break. Alex shared their excitement, me on the other hand, well, I wasn’t so happy. I threw my bags over my shoulder and started walking towards the airport.

****************************************************************

ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

We sped through traffic and across highways without thinking, we were headed to the closest airport I could think of hoping that was the one Dan was in. We were headed for a set of traffic lights turning red, but I was determined we were going to make it o time, I pressed my foot on the accelerator as hard as I could, just squeezing through the oncoming traffic and running a red light, Olivia screamed regularly through the journey, still clinging to her photo. I felt bad for bringing her into this but I needed her help. We arrived at a huge grey building with hundreds of people standing outside, it wasn’t going to be easy to find him but I wouldn’t stop until I did. Olivia and I split up, she ran off to the left of the entrance, looking for Dan and Jack, she said she remembered what he looked like roughly from when he had picked up Dan this morning.

 I ran off to the right, showing Dan’s photo to anyone I could, women, men, kids and older people all simply shook their heads at the photo, I entered a small café where waiting passengers sat drinking coffee and grabbing a bite to eat before they got on their planes. I approached a man sitting alone, he wore suit trousers and a half open shirt exposing his hairy chest, he had brown hair and brown eyes. “Excuse me sir, have you seen my friend, he’s older now but he hasn’t changed much?” I held the photo in front of him, he stared at it for a few seconds before looking up at me and shaking his head. “No, I’m sorry”. “Don’t worry” I exited the café and postponed my search, there was something I needed to do before I found Dan.

*****************************************************************

DANNY’S POINT OF VIEW

I sat down at our table, Jack had suggested we stop and grab something to eat before we got on the plane, when I sat down I noticed he was laughing slightly, “What’s so funny?” He kept laughing before looking up at me with his big brown eyes and saying “You looked cute when you were younger” He kept laughing to himself leaving me confused. “What?” He looked up at me with a serious look on his face, he realised he had said something he shouldn’t have. “How do you know what I looked like as a child?” I kept my eyes locked on his, demanding an answer. “Some guy, came here with a photo of you, tall blonde, pretty hot if I may say so.” “Alex”, Without giving a single thought to Jack I ran out of the small café grabbing my bags as I left.

****************************************************************

ALEX’S POINT OF VIEW

I raced away from the front desk, resuming my failing search. I made my way through airport security, showing them my newly bought tickets and the passport I lifted from my room earlier, I was scared it would come down to this. In the final section of the airport, people sat gazing out the window watching planes landing and taking off, this is the only place left Danny could be. I took a quick look around before spotting him walking quickly towards me, I ran towards him apologizing to people as I bumped into them, Dan looked up, realizing I was there and stopped walking, he stood still, watching me with his blue eyes as I ran towards him. “Stop this Dan, don’t go with him, please, Dan, I’m begging you.” Danny looked at me, confused and afraid, people had stopped their trivial acts and turned their attention to us. “Alex, I’m sorry, but, I have to go, I cant stay here” I watched him, not knowing what to say, the feeling of defeat slowly coming over me. “I need to start again, leave all this in the past where it belongs”.

Dan seemed set on this, I knew I couldn’t change his mind. “Yeah, I know, I totally agree with you, leave all this behind, start again…. With me, listen Danny, life hasn’t been easy on you, but if you just spend the rest of it with you I promise I will try to make it perfect everyday, Dan you mean to much to me for me to let myself become your past, I’m your future Dan, and you’re mine”. At this point people jaws hit the floor, they stared in disbelief at what was happening before being shaken by the loudspeaker overhead, “This is the final call for all passengers boarding the flight to France”. Danny looked up, before bringing his head back down to look at me, I could tell my words hadn’t been enough. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the tickets I had bought, I read them out loud to Danny, “New York, I know you Danny, this is where you want to be, my parents, they’re always there doing business, they own a penthouse in the city.

That night, when you’re parents kicked you out, mine brought you in, they love you Danny, almost as much as I do. I called them this morning telling them I was coming over, are you going to make me go alone?” Then I waited, stood with my mouth open, feeling like judgement day had arrived, little did I know, this really was judgement day, I wondered whether my life was about to become heaven or hell.

***************************************************************

DANNY’S POINT OF VIEW

I sat back in my seat watching trees and buildings fly past me, objects became shapeless blocks of colour as the plane moved faster, I felt my stomach drop as the plane left the ground. The engine of the plane roared but quickly subsided. I watched out the window as the world became smaller, the little things went first, but soon whole buildings looked like ants, the plane climbed higher and higher, leaving my life behind, starting a new one with the man sitting next to me. I turned away from the window when we were above the clouds, I heard kids around me ask their parents if this was heaven, jokingly I turned to Alex and grabbing his muscled arm I childishly asked “Is this heaven Alex?” He sat with his eyes closed, head facing forward and quietly said. “Yes”.

Thanks to everyone who read the stories, it means a lot and I’ve been really grateful to everyone who reviewed and rated, for me it’s been a really good way to just take my mind off things and I’m really glad some people have been able to relate to the story in some way or another. I really hadn’t expected the story to come this far or for people to be so interested. If you enjoyed this then you might like my new series “it all started when I first saw you” which is written in a similar way. I have a few more stories lined up so you haven’t heard the last of me yet but I guess for now its up to you to decide what happens to Alex and Danny next… but after seven chapters, a total of 22,177 words, 117 paragraphs….
my work is done for now :)