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Why do they have to play mind games? Our little hearts are so fragile, yet we give them away fully these guys. We know they will be hurt, we know they will be left behind for the next available female( to play the straight card), but yet still we give them our hearts. And we just sit here, thinking “what are they thinking?”, foolishly hoping their thoughts are on us. But even if their not, I heard this great motto, that I live my life by now…

Dance like there is nobody watching
Work like you don’t need the money
And Love like you’ve never been hurt

And that’s why I will continue to be another player in their mind games.

The reason why I bring this up is, because there is this guy that I’ve kinda known my whole life, that plays these games with me. I met him when we were kids, like toddlers playing with remote control cars and Sega Genesis but then he moved away. I didn’t see or think of him for 10 whole years, until I heard he moved back to my hometown, and that day I seen him coming out of my back yard….

One week prior to him coming back, my aunt tells me while making her famous chicken salad, “So I hear Dion and Shay are coming back this weekend.”

“What? Really?” I say in slight disbelief.

“Yeah, they are moving down here to stay with their father.” She says. A few months before this she and their dad got their realtor licenses, and went into business together. “Now you have some one to play with.” she laughed.

“Ha, your funny.” I said not really caring. I put it out my mind, didn’t really think about it. I was 17 at the time, dark brown hair, swimmers build 5’9, and it was around my first months of high school. I was walking home from school with my best friend, when I turned into my driveway, the door to the back fence opens up, and I see two short little boys walking towards me. I say “Who the fuck is that coming out of my backyard? What the fuck?” to my best friend. She was like

“I Dunno but I’m out, peace.” and she chunked the deuce and walked to her house across the street. The closer they got, with big smiles on their faces, the more I recognized them.

“Oh shit, its you guys.” I yelled. Shay the oldest, same build and hair as me but so much shorter at 5’4, came up first. Followed by his younger brother by 1 year, Dion, he’s average build with black hair and 5’6. I gave them both a hug and let them inside so we could talk. They didn’t wanna come back down here, which made it feel like they didn’t like me personally, but I now know it was just homesickness. I was instantly attracted to Shay, his lips were so perfect. But then my brother came home a few minutes later and that’s when it all jumped off. Like old times, the laughing, the fighting, and the awkward silences. Soon night fell and we just sat around watching TV, until it was bed time for me and my bro cause we had school the next day, unlike them. But they didn’t have beds yet so we all just slept on the carpeted floor (my brother even made a little fort under the pool table like we were kids again). I couldn’t sleep though, all I could think about was Shay. I just wanted to kiss his lips so badly, I didn’t know what to do. So I just laid as close as I could next to him. He woke up once and just laughed, I think he was still in a dream I dunno, but it confused the hell out of me, so much so that I fell asleep in my thoughts.

When I woke up for school…. a hour later. I felt so nauseous, I didn’t even go to school. That would have been a plus if I could of spent time with Shay instead of me and him, it was in the bed by myself, and him looking for houses with his dad and brother. So this goes on for weeks and weeks, the days he doesn’t spend the night are the days before I actually go to school. Which causes me to fail my first year of high school, my first year failing anything to do with school.

I hadn’t had an idea if Shay liked boys or girls, I myself didn’t know what I liked. I had a girlfriend and all of a sudden Shay comes back into my life, a kid I haven’t seen for so long (which lead to her breaking up with me for “lack of attention” a month later), and now all I can think about is him. So one night when we are around the age of 18, when he’s spending the night, I say to myself “I’m going to put my lips on his.”. He was laying down, ‘sleep’ or so he seems. I crawl up next to him and just stare at his face while the light from the TV randomly lights it up. I was so nervous everything around me slowed down and I could no longer hear sound. It took me a few times of hesitation and moving around back and fourth to get my nerves in check. So FINALLY, I hovered my head slightly over his, lined up my lips with his, and slowly went down until our lips met. It felt so good to rub my lips against his. But what shocked me is when his lips slowly curved upward into a smile. “Oh my god, is he awake?” went off twenty times in my head. I didn’t know what to do, but what I did do was jump off him quick, fast and in a hurry. I got in my bed, completely freaked out, and went to sleep. I asked myself though the years that followed “is he trying to trick me, or catch me, why doesn’t he say anything if he knows I kissed him, was he really sleep.” These questions he made me ask myself over and over and over again, now I know that it was just a mind game.

No it didn’t stop there, he kept ‘playing’ with me, ha… like my aunt told me he would. But it got deeper and deeper till I figured it out. It all got real, the first day I spent the night at his house. That day, we were around 18, I went to this concert downtown, which was right a few streets from where Shay and his family lived. It was about 11 at night when it ended and my house was across town, I wasn’t sleepy, but that’s what I was to spend the night at Shay’s house. There were no extra beds, or a carpeted floor… Shay’s bed wasn’t the only option, but that’s what I acted like it was. In his bed, under the covers at last, this only happen in the fantasies I formed in my mind. I soon found out he was wearing nothing but basketball shorts, I was in jeans and a t-shirt which swiftly became just a t-shirt and boxers. I’m a perfect sleeper, I don’t move or snore or anything, but with him I purposely tossed and turned, even though I knew he was the same, I thought it was normal when he tossed and turned as well (mind games). Finally my leg found his, as well as the soles of our feet. As soon as they touched, I didn’t move, he didn’t move, It felt so good. At that moment I would pay anything to just stay like that. But I had to test something, to find out if I was in a game, so when I moved my foot away, he started moving again, until his foot found mine which made me feel so good. I started to rub my leg up his, until he turned over and wrapped both of his legs around mine like a sand which. Still, I had my doubts, I kinda gave him the benefit, but all that went away when I started to rub my hand up his legs. They were so smooth and warm, I kept going until I got to his underwear.

What I didn’t know until this point that he had removed his basketball shorts in all the tossing and turning. Anyway, back to my hand, when it got to his boxers I felt around for his dick. It didn’t take long, a few seconds, I grabbed it and noticed that he was slightly aroused. Now knowing that he was semi-hard from me just touching him, let me further know that he felt something for me like I felt for him. But what happen next, was completely out of line, uncalled for, and pissed me the fuck off. His hand came to mine, and when he touched me my hand went limp instantly. He lifted my hand off of his dick and put it on my stomach, then he took his hand off mine and it felt like he disappeared from all my senses. “WHAT!#*$%?” was all that was heard in my mind. I felt abandoned, rejected, hurt, neglected, shameful, and furious all in the same second. I was so mad I couldn’t think straight. “Why would he do that, why would he stop this, why would he act like nothing happen, why why why?” I asked myself. I didn’t do anything that whole night. But a few hours later I felt his foot touch my foot, it felt so good, but I was still confused, pissed, and hurt. Yet, still, it felt so good. And he was good, very good, in playing this game, letting me know that this was his game, and he was controlling me, he had my emotions and he could do whatever he pleased with them, without even saying a word.

Nothing happen for the next two years, until I was 20. In the mean time, I didn’t try anything since that night. We both went to school, and moved around a lot. Still managing to see each other through the holidays. I pursed my own relationships as well as he did his. Until a few months ago, around the summer of 2008, he started ‘playing’ with me again. I was over his house one day, him and his friends where trying to go to the movies with some girls, and I was over there because I just came back in town from school. When I pulled up and started to get my stuff out of the truck, he acted like the first time I saw him when we were teenagers. He had a big smile on his face, so excited and continuously asked me questions like he hasn’t seen my in years. For some unknown reason, his shirt was off, his body amazed me, he grew a six pack and some pecks on that slender frame, including a growth spurt 5’9 or 5’10 to my 6 ft, now I could finally look him eye to eye instead of down (he used to get so mad when I looked down at him). He followed me all around the house trying to get me to go to the movies with him. But, I had no wish to do anything with him, because I was still thinking back to that night 2 years ago, and what happen, but of course he acted like it never happen. So he got all dressed and went out for like 30 minutes, but some of his friends were still at the house, so I decided to just go to sleep (in his bed), but I usually listen to the radio or some form of music to drift off to bed, and guess what? The only stereo in the whole house, was the one right next to his bed, so that’s where I went.

About an hour later, Shay comes into his room and lays down on the opposite side of the bed (head to foot, foot to head). A few of his friends come in wide awake, try to talk to him but he’s ‘sleep’, so they leave, and I sort of doze off. A few minutes later or a few hours later, I dunno there wasn’t a clock displaying time available, nor did I care what time it was. I woke up to Shay fully dressed in the fetal position on top of the covers just as I was, with a blanket in the middle of us. So I took the blanket and covered both of us with it. He stretched his legs, just as I did, and then he let out a sigh. His feet covered with black socks were so close to my face that I could smell them. This might seem strange but they smelt wonderful, everything about him did. I wanted so much to just kiss them, to just wrap my lips around anything on Shay. And you know what I did. First I snuck in with my hand to rub his feet.

The massage, the easiest thing to get someone in bed. When I rubbed his feet and then stopped, and backed away, I wanted to make him urn for me like I did him, he used his feet to search for me. He moved his feet closer to me, until they found away inside my hands, it felt like he was begging me to make him feel good, and of course I obliged. This time when I rubbed his feet, I kissed them as well. I worked this massage, because I wanted him so bad. I kneaded the heels and soles of his feet, rubbed each toe, caressed his ankles, and slowly worked up his long, smooth legs. I licked his toes for a bit, while I rubbed up his legs to his thighs. Since he’s laying on his stomach I can only go so far as his butt. But I can’t feel him 100% because the belt on his shorts is strapped so tight, it constricts my movement. So I get upset, I feel I worked so hard for nothing because he’s ‘sleep’, I cant go any further. So I fold my arms turn around facing him and close my eyes about to drift off to sleep. He starts to toss and turn again, but un-bnounced to me he magically takes his shorts off while ‘sleeping’. Of course he has basketball shorts under his cargo shorts, over his boxers. Straight guys and their confusing pants area. But anyway, everything is much more accessible. So I go back to massaging him, but with haste this time. He has turned slight over so now my hands can reach his growing erection. By time I get to his dick its already past semi hard. This time he doesn’t stop me. This time I go under his shorts and through his boxers and touch his dick for the first time. It was so warm, and slightly bent because his shorts were in the way. So those had to come off quickly.

Now, what I wanted to do was savor this moment, because it was so special to me. “I want to suck Shay’s dick.” I always said to myself, but never out loud. 6 long years I’ve been lusting after Shay, hoping for this moment to come to truth. But that’s not what happen. As soon as I seen his dick with my own eyes, hard, as in sprang into the air after I pulled his shorts off, game. Like a lion on a zebra carcass, my mouth just went for it, out of my control. I didn’t even get to hold it for 2 seconds before my mouth was pushing my hand out of the way. Like putting your feet in the water to see how it is, I wanted to touch my tongue to his dick. But noooo, my mouth had to just dive in t he water head first, and sucked up his dick like a last meal. I licked, and sucked his dick till it was covered with my saliva, I wasn’t surprised when my throat engulfed his dick fully till my lips touched his pubes, because I always dreamed of deep throating him, and on this day it came true. But out of no where, the door flings open, and in comes Jimmy, his best friend (like so bffs I wonder if they bum each other), walks in. I quickly move around to hide his and my erection under the blanket. He looks at us and doesn’t say anything, goes in the closet gets his backpack and walks out.. I dunno if he saw anything, or even cared. But what did happen was, after he left I got right back to sucking Shay’s dick. And you know what? It got bigger, because I couldn’t swallow all of it anymore. Its like almost getting caught turned him on so much enough, that his dick swelled to mass. But I used my best efforts. I licked up and down his shaft, I thrusted his dick into my cheeks, I licked his pubes and his balls. I engulfed his sac with my lips.

His dick smelt so natural, I inhaled his scent. I kept licking up and down his dick, not even paying attention to the rest of his body. When I looked up I noticed that the pillow that was under his head magically crawled from under his head to on top of it while he was ‘sleeping’. I don’t think he could tell by the way I sucked his dick that it was my first time ever doing that, but by the amount of porno’s I watched prior to that I thought I did pretty well. I avoided letting my teeth make contact with his cock, I also rapidly swirled and flicked my tongue on all the known pleasure points of his dick‘s head. And every time I swallowed his dick fully, I could taste a little bit of precum at the back of my throat. It tasted so weird, but it felt so good to finally have his dick in my mouth, sadly he didn’t moan because he was ‘sleeping’ and he had to keep that role up, god forbid anyone think he’s gay while some dude is sucking him off. Nevertheless I made him cum. I bobbed my head up and down his dick, like a hand job but with my head. I kept going faster and faster, and then slowed down, then faster and faster. I kept on sucking his dick to the best of my abilities until he stretched out his legs and let a very long (abnormally long) sigh.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” he said, even though he was ‘sleeping’. I said to myself

“What is he doing? What is this liquid filling my mouth? Is he, is he cumming?” I took my mouth off his dick to see, and I saw a white little goo blob coming from the tip of his dick, I quickly recovered his head with my mouth, and jacked the last of his spunk into my mouth. I was so proud of myself, “I made him cum, I made him cum” I said to myself. I kept my mouth on his dick for a while, and licked his head with my tongue. After a few more minutes of savoring, then put his dick back into his boxers, pulled up his shorts, and recovered him with the blanket. I got up out of his bed and walked out of his room. As soon as I opened the door, his bff got up out of the bed he was in and looked up at me. It was so strange, but whatever I ignored it. “I just made Shay cum into my mouth, by sucking his dick!” I said to myself. I had won his little game, so I thought.

I went on the other side of the house, brushed my teeth, even though I wanted to savor the taste of his cum in my mouth, It just felt like I needed to do it. When I got out, I found out all of a sudden Shay was ‘awake’ washing whatever off in the bathroom. He seemed lost, but I didn’t pay attention to that, I had to take care of the big smile on my face. A few minutes later, him and Jimmy go into his room, and lay down under his sheets to get some sleep. Weird, why would Shay need to sleep if he just ‘slept’ all night. But I did the same thing anyway. Mind games…