• Bisexual
  
• Gay Fantasy
  
• Fiction
  
• Gay Boys
  
• Gay Fetish
  
• Gay Fuck
  
• Gay Military
  
• Gay Orgies
  
• Gay Sex
  
• Gay Travel
  
• Gay Men
  
• Making Out
  
  
• Submit story

• Free Gay Porn
  
• Gay Thumbs
  
• Gay personals
  
• Gay men
  
• First Gay Porn

• Gay sex
  
• Gay Links
  
• Gay porn
  

I am lying down in the class room bleeding; but no one pays attention to me. I gasp for air and try to speak so someone can look down to me. Nothing comes out I try to move but no one pays attention they just stare straight ahead paying attention to the lecture at hand. I start to cry out loud and cry out help but no one cares….no one cares. I wake up to the sound of my alarm; the alarm echoes through the dorm room. I get up slowly I always find the first day of class the hardest don’t ask me why. I have the room to myself I really didn’t want a roommate and yes I can afford it. The mother that I had left me some money and let’s just say that it’s enough to get me through college and a few decades on. I get on my own private shower; I just stay motionless under the hot water. I get ready for the day pick up my back pack and head out to the campus. I am getting some breakfast when someone pokes me from behind and I turn around.

“Hey loner” Monica says. I have no friends but what’s the need when I have my best friend since I known since I was little. Monica is my best friend; I laugh at her because she is more of a guy than anything. “First day of class yay!” she says bouncing up and down. I look at her weird “I got laid this morning shut up” she says with a smile across her face as she takes a bite of her apple. “What’s wrong Alex?” Monica asks me as we sit down. “Nothing just had a bad dream” I say taking a bite of my breakfast. “The Dying one again?” Monica says taking another bite of her apple. “Yeah, I hate it when I have it ruins my day” I say kind of still uneasy. I just shake my head and change the subject.

Monica and I are majoring in Sport Medicine; both of us always loved the football game. I guess football was the reason we became friends; now that we are juniors we should begin to be on the field with the players. “Look” Monica whispers to me while tapping my hand to break me from my thoughts. John Steel walks by us; he is the quarterback of the team and the most desired guy of all the campus. John is your typical all American boy. Dark short blond hair, piercing big blue eyes, a strong jaw line, facial hair that enhances his masculinity and the body of a guy that likes to work out but it’s not his whole life. Everyone in campus knows who he is; so it’s no surprise that random people call him by name. Monica stares at him hard; as he walks by us he looks at Monica for a second and then he looks at me longer. We stay looking at each other until John hears his girlfriends voice; Sabrina the all American bitch.

I heard around campus that John is actually a nice guy which makes me wonder why a nice guy would be dating a bitch like Sabrina. She likes to kiss John in front of everyone showing off her status around campus to everyone. Everyone and I do mean everyone guys and girls have some sort of crush on John but me; I just don’t see what everyone else sees in him. I mean it’s just rumor right that he is a nice guy; I have met people like him. They are the popular kids because of their looks and their ability to throw a ball at a good distance. As for me I am just an average guy dark brown hair, brown eyes and a decent body; not to fat but not too skinny either. I don’t think anyone like John will go for an average guy like me guess that’s why I am the only one in campus who doesn’t have a crush on him.

The day goes on pretty normal; Monica and I have the same classes except one. It’s a class that deals with nutrition and Monica didn’t register on time for us to get the same class together. It’s a small class with ten lab tables; “so good of you to join us” the teacher says as I walk in. “Sorry couldn’t find the room” I say as I take off me earphones. I was lying the real reason I was late was because Monica and I were checking out hot guys around campus. I almost blushed because everyone was staring at me; I don’t know why but my heart skipped a beat when I saw John in the same room. “You can sit next to Palmer” the professor says pointing to right hand side of the room. I just took a deep breath; Matt Palmer was on the football team and thought he was the shit. Palmer has short black hair, brown eyes, has a full muscle body a bit bigger than John and this face always looks like he is sad or something. I also happen to know that Matt is a very good friend of John; I take my seat and the teacher begins to talk about the class. I was paying attention and writing down some notes until Matt starts bugging me for random things. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to be funny or bullying me.

Matt started poking me thinking that it was funny I told him to stop but he just kept going at it. Matt was starting to piss me off and I was about to go off on him until John stepped in. all John had to do was say Matt’s name in a serious tone and Matt stopped. I turn around and glance at John for a second; his blue eyes stare at mine. Matt was my partner for the class but it’s a good thing that John is on the table behind us. I then put my attention to the teacher who is still talking about the class and what he expects of us. The teacher talks about our assignments and that all of them will require a partner. As the professor finishes his lecture all I hear is “Well good thing I have a nerd for a partner” Matt says as he slaps my back hard. I just lost it I really don’t know what came over me. I just grab Matt’s shirt and pull him close to my face “Listen you dumb jock I work too hard for too long to get into this program and I am not going to jeopardize my career over a jock who can’t pull his own weight” I say with a serious tone and looking into Matt’s eyes “Now you either pull your weight with these projects or I will ensure that you won’t play football ever again CLEAR” I say and let go of his shirt. Matt has this surprise look on his face; he didn’t even say anything to me. I just get up get my things and start to head out the door quickly because I didn’t know if Matt was going to hit me or not.

I was enraged and ashamed of what I just did; I don’t know what came over me. I am not like that I am a nice guy but when it comes to defending myself I just don’t think. Somewhere in the middle of my thoughts I hear someone yelling my name but I don’t pay attention to whom it belongs to. I was about to open the door that leads outside of the building when someone steps in front of me. I come back into reality; once again my heart skips a beat when I see that it’s John. I just stare at him just to make sure that it’s him in front of me. “Listen I just wanted to tell you…” John’s voice is so manly I almost blush “Matt is a really nice guy once you get to know him” when I hear Matt’s name I just become angry again. “It’s fine don’t worry about it” I say a little to bitter. “Well I was just wondering…” John begins to say “Look no offense but do you always have to step in for him” I cut John off. John looks at me with a hard face but says nothing. “Not all Jocks are dumb you know” John says with a serious tone. “Right” I say while I circle around him and head out the door.

Monica almost beats the shit out of me when I tell her how I treated John. “Why would you do that he’s a nice guy” Monica says almost as if I ruin her chance of her going into bed with him. “Because he’s a jock….they are all the same no matter what” I say as I grab my backpack. “Fix it Alex you can’t just be a dick to him” Monica says with a hint of anger. I just look at her and walk to class; as I sit down Matt just nods his head at me but doesn’t look at me. John just stares at me but I don’t look at him all I do is stare straight ahead to where the professor is getting ready for the lecture. I can feel John’s eyes on me but I just keep looking forward. Maybe Monica is right John did try to apologize for Matt’s behavior and I just blew him off bad. But then again John has most likely gotten everything he ever wanted by his looks and what if just this one time he didn’t get what he wanted. Obviously he tried to apologize for Matt so I can be nicer to Matt but that isn’t going to happen anytime soon. A half smile spreads across my lips as I revel in the thought that this time John doesn’t get what he wants.

Several weeks pass and surprisingly Matt pulls his own weight with our assignments. But both Matt and John haven’t spoken to me since the first day of class but that doesn’t bother me. “All right guys the assignment won’t be due until next week because of our first football game tomorrow” the professor says as he wraps the class. I take in a deep breath simply because I am excited about my first football game down on the field with the players. To tell you the truth I want someone to get hurt bad so I can see firsthand the injuries football can offer. I just get up and walk out of the class with my mind racing with ideas on the game. The first game is actually the most exciting one besides homecoming; everyone goes crazy.

As noon comes all of the students on campus make their way to the stadium after having a blast tailgating. As for us we are getting ready for the game and since we are the new ones Monica and I load up everything. “First game yay” Monica says as we load the last Gatorade jug unto the cart. “Have you apologized to John yet” Monica says quickly changing her tone from exited to serious. “I um….” I stuttered I really didn’t want to tell her that I am been a dick to him just to prove a point that not all the things good looking people want get. “Hey that has to get to the field before the game starts let’s go” Jesse our head trainer yells at us. Monica and I get into the cart and head for the stadium; I keep the subject off of John and into anything else. Monica and I have been to the stadium before but for some reason it seems different when we are actually in the field itself. We are playing some college that isn’t too far from this town but it’s the first one. The first game is actually the most important because it tells everyone how well it will go for the team for the rest of the season.

The game starts and we kick off first; my heart races with excitement because some how it feels like this is my first game. During the game we check the players for any fractures or sprains but nothing is too serious. Monica and I mostly give the players some Gatorade but still manage not to miss any second of the game. We would score and they would score; we made a field goal and they made one a couple of minutes after. It’s a close game and everyone is on their feet screaming at the top of their lungs; as well as Monica and me. Monica is the one who attended John and Matt I just avoided them as much as possible. Sometimes I would pretend to be too busy to attend either of them; maybe I am been just a little bit too much of a dick to them. It was near the last quarter with only a minute left and we are down by one. But the other team has the ball; the quarterback from the other team yells ‘hike’ and the players crash into each other hard. The quarterback throws the ball but a member of our team gets it and starts running towards the end field. Everyone is on their feet yelling at the top of their lungs at the turn of events.

Everyone is on their feet accept one person; I don’t know why but I look behind me and John is sitting down with a worried expression on his face. The cheer of the crowd brings me back to reality as I see that our team member has been tackled on the twenty yard line. I look up at the clock and it only reads eight seconds. The coach from the other team calls a time out and everyone is still cheering at the top of their lungs. ‘Just go over and talk to him’ I tell myself; I know that expression that’s on John’s face. Even though he is the quarterback and the leader of this team he is always nervous when everything depends on him. I take a deep breath and walk over to him; my heart races faster maybe because of the thought that I don’t know what I am going to say to him when I am right in front of him. As I am in front of him I just grab his helmet that’s in between his hands. He looks up at me with those big blue eyes. We stare at each other for a while and nothing is coming to mind to say to him. I take another deep breath “Prove me wrong” I say to him as I hand him back his helmet. John looks at me for a little while longer and a half smile comes across his face. He puts on his helmet not breaking our eye contact. He then runs past me and into the field; the crowd goes wild as the team forms the line. I take in a deep breath and look with anticipation. John hikes the ball and moves back; he looks around but no one is open. Out of nowhere a player from the other team heads straight for John “Look out” I yell at him as if he can hear me. The player leans forward and tackles John but not before John sends the football down into the end field. Those couple of seconds when the ball was in the air where the longest seconds of my life.

I take in a deep breath and hold it; as the ball looses altitude it’s clear that maybe no one will catch it. Out of the blue Matt dives for the ball at the last second and manages to catch it and barely crosses the line that marks the end field. Everyone including me goes wild; I cheer at the top of my lungs as the clock reads zero and the referee calls the game. In the midst of celebration I see John taking of his helmet and walking towards me. He was stop at every step with someone congratulating him on his final throw. It took a couple of minutes but he got to me. We were staring at each other; I just chuckle and stick my hand out for a hand shake. John looks at me with those big blue eyes and smiles himself. He actually has a nice smile; he was about to take my hand when someone jumps into his arms. It caught be off guard as well as John; it came to no surprise as Sabrina jumped into John’s arms and started kissing him. I just clear my throat and start walking backwards; I glance at John but quickly look away as I see that he is staring at me. I then see that Jesse is waving at me to help him load up the stuff that Monica and I brought just before the game.

After the game everyone celebrated; Monica and I were invited to a party to celebrate the victory but I backed out. I blamed it on school work and just stay in my dorm room I do the assignment that the professor gave us and just head straight for bed when I am done. I just lay there awake thinking about things that bothered me today. Sabrina is such a bitch any person could tell that John was extending his hand to me. But Sabrina just does what she always does….wait does that mean she is trying to protect John from me. I just laugh at the thought that Sabrina finds me as someone threatening to her relationship to John. But then I think of something else; after Sabrina interrupted John and me something happened that I didn’t really realize until now. John kept looking at me while Sabrina was kissing him; why would John do that? Maybe he just felt bad that his girlfriend got in the way of a thank you. But the way he stared at me didn’t fully say he was sorry. It almost looked like he was glad as well; maybe he was glad that I started talking to him again. Wait what the hell am I thinking John is straight and it doesn’t matter how he acts around me that fact of the matter is he is straight. I then just pushed those thoughts aside and decide to sleep.

About five minutes later I hear a knock on my door; “Damn it Monica” I whisper to myself as I force myself out of bed. It’s really my fault every time Monica goes out I force her to come to my room if she is too drunk to go home. “You know I was barely falling aslee…..” I say but stop when I realize that it isn’t Monica at my door. “Sorry didn’t mean to wake you” John says with a worried look. I try to say something but I just find myself stammering. “I just came by to thank you for what you did today” John says with his half cute smile. “Yeah….no problem” I say finding my voice. “I was actually looking for you at the party didn’t see you and asked Monica where your dorm room was” he says almost kind of nervous. I just look at him and think to myself that I am dreaming but I am not dreaming at all. “Ok that’s it I’ll let you get back to sleep see you on Monday” John says to me and walks away. I close the door and lean against it ‘WHAT THE HELL?’ I say over and over again. I try not to let my imagination run wild; he just came to say thank you for what I did at the game that is it. I then go over to my bed and pull the sheet just under my chin; I then force myself to fall asleep.

On Monday I take my seat next to Matt and congratulate him on his catch that won the game. “Thanks should go to you too” Matt says as he glances over at John. “What do you mean?” I ask looking at Matt and then at John. “Well if it wasn’t for you we probably wouldn’t have won the game” John says with a smile. “You’re telling everyone that” I say kind of annoyed but don’t show it in my voice. John and Matt just shrug their shoulders; I was about to say something when the professor walks in and begins the class. For the next couple of weeks I got to know Matt and John and for once the rumors where true about John. John was a really nice guy and everything about him was the next door type kind of guy. One day Matt was out of town due to some family business and John wanted to help me with my assignment. We went to the library and sat at one of the tables but John decided to sit next to me; a little too close to me to be precise. John starts to help me out with my paper when his phone goes off; just before he picked up from the table I saw a name. Sabrina was the one who was calling him; I saw her name and I know she wants him to show off her status again. John looks at his phone and rejects her call; then he turns it off. I quickly turned to my assignment pretending I didn’t notice any of this; I tried to look at normal as possible. ‘It means nothing’ I say in my head. John then clears his throat and goes on helping me pretending that no one called him.

After I finished John invited me to grab something to eat but I had to be at the trainer’s room for a mandatory meeting. John had a disappointing look on his face when I told him about the meeting and my imagination started going wild once more. I just shook his hand and thanked him for helping me out. As I walked to the trainer’s room that’s across the campus I couldn’t help but think about the expression John gave when I refused his invitation. ‘It’s just my imagination…..please let it be my imagination’ I say to myself. I didn’t want to fall for a straight guy….not again. I don’t know why but every time I am around John I have butterflies in my stomach but at the same time I can be myself. All my life I never had a relationship; I have had sex but never a real relationship. Not to mention that one time when I fell for a straight guy; but no matter what I did or how much I tried he was a straight guy and is still true to this day. When I came to the realization that I couldn’t have the straight guy my heart broke and it took me a while to move on. From that point on I swore that I wouldn’t fall for a straight guy and now I find myself falling for one once more.

Before I knew it homecoming was here and the whole campus was celebrating. We have had a pretty good season so far with only just two losses. John and I have become good friends at this point and Monica is jealous of my new hot straight friend. The game surprisingly came at an easy win; guess because everyone was doing their best to win seeing that it’s homecoming. After the game I was outside the locker room; there is a small storage space that we sometimes put the stuff we bring out on the field. “Hey uh you want to come and celebrate with us” John says from behind me. I turn and almost blush as John has nothing on but a white towel around his waist. I try so hard not to look at his body but I couldn’t help but quickly glance at it. His big broad shoulders, his bulging biceps, his big chest and his rock hard abs. everything about John is just so good that I just wanted to jump him right here right now. “Sure” I manage to get out. “Great let me just take a shower and we’ll hit the bars” John says with a huge smile across his face. As he leaves a take a peek through the door and see his well muscled back and round ass I just sigh and mange to hide before John turned around.

John and I went on his truck to a close bar near campus but it was our first stop. Along the way more of the football team started to join us and with the help of alcohol I became sociable. The team is actually full of good guys; as I talk to them my theory that every jock is dumb is proven wrong. All are crazy but funny I have to admit they are really good guys. As the night went on I told Monica where I was and what I was doing “BITCH LOL” Monica says in a text. I laugh when I see this but she means well “Text me if you need a ride home” Monica says in text. John then comes close to me “We are going to another bar so finish your beer” he says while his face is close to my ear. Out of the seven of us we choose the less drunk to drive the SUV that belongs to someone in the team. Somehow John and I are at the very back; John sits next to me and tries to plug in his seatbelt.

I look at him struggle for a while until I get fed up and lean across him with my seatbelt plugged and manage to plug his in. I lean back to my seat and notice that John’s arm is across my shoulders but his hand is at the edge of the seat. I then look down and see that I am leaning against the left side of his body. I don’t know why but I press a little harder into his body. John notices this and chuckles; John then places his hand on my shoulder. We almost look like lovers but gladly no one notices us because we are the very back and it’s very dark. For some reason we inch our faces closer to each other; the right side of my forehead is about to touch the front side of John’s. The SUV then comes to a full stop snapping both of us back into reality; I look around and see that we are at the next bar.

After an hour in the bar I notice that it’s boys night; I am really glad for this cause Sabrina would have killed ten minutes into the night. John buys me some drinks and a couple of shots as well; John leaves to the restroom while I look around. Every player has a woman around to talk to while I just come to the realization that no one has bothered John and me while we were here. Sabrina does show off her status very well because none of the girls hit on John. Another hour goes by and it’s at this time that my head starts spinning and everything becomes blurry. I look around for the guys but I didn’t find them; I then go outside to the parking lot and don’t see the SUV.

I couldn’t believe the guys just left me here at the bar; I didn’t even find John. I was so pissed at this point that I search my pockets for my phone but found some money before I found my phone. I walk over to the street and climb into a cab; I told the driver where to go and before he could take off the door on the other side opens. A man jumps in and tells him the exact same location I just told him. Another student I couldn’t tell who it was because it was dark and I was drunk. But this guy has a nice body and I stay looking at it during the ride to my dorm. I was about to say something when this guy grabs the back of my head and presses his lips on me. I struggle to get free but he has me tight in his grasp. Without thinking I started to kiss him back and the whole back seat was filled with our kissing sounds. I then straddle him while he’s still sitting down on his side of the seat and we use our tongues savagely. I really didn’t care what the cab driver thought but I was having the best time of my life. I can’t believe I am kissing a random hot stranger; I then move my hand down and place it on top of his dick. A rock hard thick dick is just begging to be released from it’s cell of jean; he notices my hand on top of his dick and moans in my mouth. The cab then stops and without looking I give him all of the money I had in my pocket. I guess it was enough because I didn’t hear him object to the money I gave him.

We then stumble to the dorm rooms while still kissing each other as if two lovers who haven’t seen each other for a long time. We made our way through the dorm building and the next thing I know we are in my room. I don’t know how our clothes came off but we were naked when we hit the bed. I kiss him more aggressively and he kissed me the same way back. He is on top of me and begins to rub his thick cock with mine. We moan as the feeling of rubbing each other’s cock sends an electrifying sensation through our bodies. He then spreads my legs and puts his thick head just outside of my hole. All I can say is that it’s a good thing I was drunk because it lessen the pain when he pushed his head into me. I moan louder but was covered by his mouth as he kissed me. I love his body it’s hard on the inside but soft on the outside and every muscle stands out. He fucks me deep and slow at first giving me time to adjust to his big rod. My fingers dig into his shoulders as I feel his head around my insides; but at the same time it’s the most awesome feeling I have ever felt. Soon I adjust to his big rod and tell him to fuck me harder; he needed no further instruction as he slaps his dick in me with force.

His balls slap my ass over and over again and the room is filled with this noise. CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP is all I hear as I burry my face in his big neck. I was in heaven as I loved my hot stranger fucking me; his dick pushed all the right buttons as it came out of me and shoved back in. he then faces the ceiling as I feel hot liquid in me and it never stops coming. He then comes crashing down on me and we both knock out for the night.

I feel someone move next to me and I get onto my elbows and look around the room fast. I thought I was in my dorm room but I am not. There are posters of bikini models and football players all over; it has the same structure as my room but it isn’t my room. The person then moves again next to me and I squint with one eye over to see who it is. As I adjust to the light coming into the room and hitting my face my eyes fly wide open. “John” I say his name and quickly cover my mouth. John is on his stomach with his hands under the pillow. I try to breathe slowly and quietly as I get some feeling back into my body; maybe I am still drunk or something. I blink several times but John is lying next to me naked and with a satisfied look in his face. His dark blond hair is messy and his back muscle stands out as the light coming from the window hits him. How could this happen? I mean score for the average Joe getting in bed with a hot guy but how could this happen? Now I am a slut.

I carefully pull the covers off of me and stand up; I had one foot on the floor when John stirs. I immediately freeze and just look at him; he’s still in the same position and his eyes are still close. I get off the bed and quickly put on my clothes; as I am putting on my clothes my butt feels sore. It’s not hard to imagine why that is; I just slept with the famous quarterback that everyone has a crush on. Wow I can’t believe I just slept with the quarterback; maybe I should celebrate. John stirs again in his bed and I quickly and quietly leave the room. I was going down the hall too caught up with my thoughts when I almost bump into someone. “Watch it” Sabrina snarls at me as she says this to me. “Sorry” I quickly say and walk faster to my dorm building. I get into my room and take a long hot shower.

I sleep for the rest of the day and when I woke up late afternoon I just lay there thinking. We were both drunk off our asses and we didn’t know what we were doing. I thought it was a stranger but all along it was John. How did John get in the same cab as me? I think he saw me and just got in as well but then again why would he kiss me and then fuck me. Maybe John wasn’t that drunk and thought I was. Maybe he wanted to know what it was like with a guy and a drunk encounter was the opportunity he was waiting for. Yeah that’s it he was just curious about sleeping with a guy and took the opportunity. Well he didn’t have to sneak around about it all he had to do was just ask me. But then again that isn’t a normal straight jock conversation to be asking a guy if he can sleep with him. Yeah it’s a drunken experiment; which explains all his past events on been nice to me from the beginning.

My mind was at ease for a minute everything seemed clear now and a smile came across my face. But then my eyes fly open as a new thought comes to mind. At the beginning of class after I told off Matt he came to apologize for him. But the thing that’s bothering me is that he knew my name before I even started been nice to him. How did John know my name? I am just been paranoid again which then throws off his kindness to me off. Maybe he didn’t want to just sleep with me and I have been ignoring all the signals he has been giving me. It’s at this point that I come to another thought; I hate to admit it but John has pushes all of my buttons. I don’t know why but I think I am falling for John; I slap my forehead hard as I came to the realization that I am falling for yet another straight guy.

On Monday I went to class as if nothing had happened between me and John. I sat down next to Matt who was busy talking to John. “Hey Alex so where did you go?” Matt says to me. “What?” I say thinking that John told Matt about our encounter. “You disappeared from the bar the other day” Matt says with a smile. “I thought you guys left and so I got a cab back to my dorm” I say keeping my eyes on Matt only. “Dude I don’t even know how I got to my room that night” John says to Matt “Do you by any chance know how I got to my room Alex?” John asks me. “Nope I don’t know” I say not making eye contact with him. So I guess it’s safe to say that John doesn’t remember anything for now. After class John and I walked and talked for a while. His manly voice is just so mesmerizing and for a second I want to feel his lips on mine once again. “John I need to tell you something” I say as I stop dead in my tracks.

I then look at him for the first time in the day. His big blue eyes focus on what I have to say. ‘I have feelings for you’ I say in my head over and over again but can’t bring myself to say it. “I um” I begin to say. But before I can say anything Sabrina jumps once more in between us and hugs John while kissing him. John grabs her and kisses her back. She then turns to me “Look” she says as she extends her left hand to me. A small diamond ring is on her finger. “I am sorry what where you going to say Alex” John tells me as he stands behind Sabrina with his arms around her. “I um….” I stammer for a while. “That I heard a rumor about an engagement and didn’t know if what you guys” I say with a smile. “Thanks” Sabrina says and turns her attention to John. I was smiling on the outside but inside my heart was breaking into pieces. I then clear my throat and walk away. I hear John call out my name once but I just keep walking as a tear comes down my face. I met Monica in the cafeteria “What’s wrong?” she asks as I sit down. I then just tell her everything about that night. Once I am finished Monica stares at me with her mouth wide open. “Well that explains everything” Monica says as she gets over the shock. “What do you mean?” I ask. “Every time I made a pass at him he wouldn’t respond” Monica says deep in thought. “He’s faithful to Sabrina” I say not interested in where she is going with this. “He’s a guy every straight guy responds to my teasing but not him” Monica says while she snaps back to reality and looks me in the eye.

 “Then it makes sense that he is gay but he’s trying to hide it by having a girlfriend” Monica says smiling at her revelation. “Please…..things don’t ever go that way with me” I say still not convinced. “Alex why don’t you tell him how you feel” Monica says with a soft tone. “Remember how it went the last time I told my feelings to a straight guy” I say remembering every second of it. I told my straight crush how I felt and he just laughed and called me names. It was after that he stopped talking to me and just made my life miserable. That’s one of the reason I keep my feelings to myself; especially straight guys. That night I lay awake on my bed thinking about things and I just started to cry. “I hate my love life” I say to the ceiling and cry myself to sleep.

A couple of weeks pass by and John talks nothing but a rehearsal dinner he has been planning for. It’s at this point that I want to tell him how I feel about him. Sometimes I want to tell him about that night when we slept together but I can’t say it. I just want to blurt it out to him every time he talks to me but I can’t he seems happy. Then came the day of the rehearsal dinner; it was to be held on a luxurious building near downtown. John invited me but I really didn’t want to go I couldn’t sit there and see Sabrina kiss him. Then someone knocks at my door; at first I think it might be John coming to confess his love for me. But yet again things don’t go that well with me; I open the door and Monica is standing there. She let’s herself in and looks me straight in the eye “ENOUGH” she says to me almost yelling too. “Listen Alex I know things haven’t gone to well with you in the past but you have to stop playing the victim” Monica says in a gently tone.

“You want John to be with you then you take a chance and let him know” Monica places her hand on my shoulder. “Why are you encouraging this exactly?” I say with a weird expression on my face. “Because as much as I hate you for sleeping with him…. I would rather have you in his life then that bitch” Monica says with a smile. I smile back and quickly put on my shoes and head out the door “GOOD LUCK” I hear Monica say as I leave the room. I then almost bump into a guy that’s passing me. I turn around and see that the guy I almost bump into goes into my room. That bitch is using my room as her own sex getaway spot. I have no time to kick her out I have to get to downtown and I need to get there fast.

The cab driver floors it when I give him a hundred dollar bill. He is avoiding all cars that are going the speed limit. I just hang on to my seatbelt as I am yanked left and right in the backseat. I get to the building and I know that the dinner is at the top floor. I rush into the elevator; it takes forever to get to the top floor. As soon as the doors open I run into a waiting room but bump into John hard. John drops a small note that he has; and as for me I am on the floor. John is a lot stronger than me so it was like hitting a wall when I bump into him. “You all right Alex?” John asks me as he helps me up from the floor. “Yeah just fine…” I say grabbing my head. I then stare at John and look into his piercing blue eyes. “What are you doing here I thought you had some stuff to do today” John says with half a smile. “I just came by to tell you….” I say but never finish the sentence. “I just wanted you to know….” I begin again but again I can’t finish the sentence. I was about to tell John what I came here to say but Matt opens the door to the great big hall and tells John that they are waiting for him. Matt gives me a nod and closes the door again. John and I are at the waiting room alone as we stare at each other; for some reason I thought of him for a change.

He is happy with Sabrina I don’t know why and probably never will know but he is happy. So who am I to ruin everything for him; all I will do is just complicate things or maybe lose a good friend that I hated to begin with. “I just forgot to tell YOU….Congratulation” I say with a smile. John looks at me and smiles; he then comes closer to me and gives me a hug. John is taller than me so half my face is pressed up against his shoulder. We hug for a while; his skin is soft but his muscles are hard. I take a deep breath and pull away from him. I was about to leave “Stay” John says to me not breaking our eye contact. “Please stay….for me” John says in a soft voice almost as if I would refuse his offer. I think about it for a minute and just nod; John gives me a smile and motions me to follow him into the dining hall. The hall is almost full; the guests consist of mostly the football team, the coaches and both sides of the family. I just talk with Matt the whole time telling jokes and having a good time. Sometimes I would glance over at John but he is too busy with his fiancée and her family. About an hour later John gets everyone’s attention as he speaks into a microphone. “Can I have your attention please” he says as he waits for everyone to stop talking. “I just wanted all of you to know how happy I am that all of you came” John says as he looks around the room. “I also wanted to tell you that a date has been set for the wedding and I expect everyone to be there” he says with a smile as he looks at me.

I smile back knowing that what I did was the right thing to do. “The date is for…”John begins but doesn’t finish the sentence. John looks around the room for a while “I am sorry I can’t do this” John says with a sad tone. “I can’t marry you” John says as he looks at Sabrina. “After what I know I just can’t do this” John says and puts down the microphone on the table. John then begins to walk out of the room and glances over at me. My mind then races with ideas and my heart pounds harder in my chest. Did John know what I wanted to say to him? Is John really breaking up with Sabrina? What does he know about her that made him change his mind? So many things came to my mind but I had no answer to any of them. The last thing I see is John walking out of the room while leaving everyone including me with a lot of unanswered questions.

Part 2 coming soon…..